I really thought I was doing okay. So my marriage is over. Glad to be rid of him. And I was, in not so many words, rejected by someone I started to feel something for. But for some reason, today on my way home from dropping my roommate off at school, I was singing to a song and a single tear fell. I brushed it off and continued on my way home when all of a sudden the flood gates opened. I could not control my crying. Thank god I had some napkins in my glove box because my nose decided to drip faster than my tears could come out. Not sure what happened. Lately I have felt the urge to cry but no tears would come, no matter what I thought about. So maybe today was it's way of finally releasing me from the weight I have been carrying since my last good cry.
As much as I tried, I could not stop the thoughts in my head. While I normally don't like to try to stop, it's not exactly the easiest thing to try and drive a stick shift while blowing your nose and trying to see through the tears. I thought about pulling over and just letting it out, but I just kept feeling like I would rather be in my home doing this, than on the side of the road. But this house... ohhh this house. I am haunted by the memories made in this place we use to call home. So much of what I see holds some sort of memory of the time we spend together. If I could I would get rid of it all and start over. I hope to replace certain things one by one as time goes on.
Glad the tears have stopped. Now I feel like I can try and make sense of my feelings. I wish I could while in the middle of a crying fit, but my emotions are too raw, and it's best for me to just let it run its course. Now I am left with the swollen eyes and aching head as a reminder of the raw pain I was just experiencing.
No comments:
Post a Comment